Cyberbullying myths debunked.

Cyberbullying myths. Yes. You may think to yourself: I don’t even know enough about cyberbullying to know about what myths are prevailing about it. Chances are, however, that you do. What you know is most probably being fed to you by well-meaning people writing stuff (blogs/news stories/articles) on the Internet and beyond. I’d like to challenge those prevailing ideas. Here are 17 cyberbullying myths that are being generated in the media, popular culture, and general hearsay.

1. It takes a specific type of person to cyberbully others. One that is violent, aggressive, lacks social skill, and has underlying psychosocial issues.

No, anyone can cyberbully. Including you and I. This is because presented with an environment where we can both present ourselves anonymously and face little risk of being “discovered” if the bullying is not serious enough, we can passive aggressively target people online without really mentioning any names, breaking any laws, or suffering any consequences. Anyone feeling a little bit ticked, may all of a sudden find themselves lacking impulse control and pressing “send” or posting the object they wish to post in the name of being funny, sabotaging someone’s reputation, promoting one’s own interests. This “disinhibition effect” (coined by John Suler), when people feel like they can say or do anything sans reprimand, occurs when one is interacting in a digital environment where nonverbal cues are lacking. These are every day, normal people. Not just one category or small segment of society.

2. There is one universal, strict definition of what cyberbullying is.

There is no universal definition, and beyond that, there is no real agreement between different researchers’ definitions of cyberbullying. There are some who only consider it to be “cyberbullying” if what is taking place violates a criminal code; others who take a strict definition of bullying being repeated, deliberate, possibly traumatic, and involving power imbalance and apply it to the online setting; yet others who adhere to a much broader, all-encompassing definition. There is, thus, no universal means of “measuring” cyberbullying.

3. Cyberbullying can be controlled by blocking the cyberbully.

Where does this faulty thinking even stem from? Can you ever just ‘block’ bullies out? Maybe what people are talking about are online trolls or those who flame. So-called “cyberbullies” cannot simply be shut out. The Internet, digital technology, and mobile phones provide the means to reach one’s desired target even if they are not connected to the Internet and do not own a mobile phone. Just think about it – if someone takes a picture of someone else without their consent, and posts it online – it’s there forever. No, cyberbullying cannot simply be ‘controlled’ through the use of a ‘block’ button.

4. Cyberbullying is a dangerous, traumatic thing that is causing millions of kids and teenagers to commit suicide.

The stories that appear in news media often portray the more serious cases of cyberbullying that really push some youth (and in some cases children) over the edge. Sometimes we find out about underlying psychosocial problems or mental disorders that the child or youth had before having been a target of cyberbullying. Other problems are also sometimes outlined such as depression and drug dependency. Of course this is not true in all cases and the effects of having been the target of cyberbullying can affect one’s life in a marked way, but sometimes the media blows this out of proportion.

5. Parents need to put parental controls on their computers at home and supervise Internet use.

Youth are very tech-savvy these days. If you recall, in 2007, the Australian government’s $84 million Internet safety “filter” was cracked by a 16-year-old boy, Tom Wood. In short, they know how to erase history, how to remove parental controls, etc. There’s no need to create that kind of distrustful relationship with youth or children.

6. There should be no online regulation. Freedom of speech reigns.

It’s one thing to defend freedom of expression, despite any negative consequences that may ensue from it. It’s another thing to say that freedom of expression should reign, and that’s it. What we have on our hands is a global system of communication which has people connected from parts of the world where sometimes privacy is a bigger concern for the government. Sometimes child protection is at the top of their mandate. Sometimes people are so censored that they’re imprisoned for 25 years if they so much as blog. The point is, we’re dealing with a global environment where people are communicating with each other (and sometimes cyberbullying each other) over long distances, and there’s no ‘law’ per se that says who is to regulate who, jurisdiction-wise. Take the Google case for example, 4 Google execs being put on trial in Italy for someone’s posting on YouTube. Internet governance is a long-standing debate, and will continue to be like that. However, simply brushing off issues of digital abuse, harassment, impersonation, bullying, etc, in the name of freedom of expression is simply turning a blind eye to the reality of what is happening.

7. Cyberbullying doesn’t exist. It’s a simply a fake concept fabricated by those who want to blame technology for something that has always existed.

Watch out for who is making these claims. Depending on their corporate agendas and their personal ventures. To reify technology and look at it almost anthropomorphically as something that is at the root of this idea of ‘cyberbullying’ is of course not logical and does not bear any element of reality. However, to claim that cyberbullying is simple an extension of what was happening previously in the school yard is not taking into consideration its different facets and elements. Cyberbullying is not limited to children and teens. Recent surveys have found that adults are equally likely to engage in cyberbullying. As well, how can bullying which takes place over media that is eternally archived and accessible 24-7 be the same as what has ‘always been going on’? If cyberbullying did not exist, there would not be reports coming from all over the world that millions of people are affected by it.

8. Teens should know better. They are taught in school not to bully others.

Teens should know better? Who has taught them to know any better? Are teachers aware of what sort of cyberbullying is going on among their own students? Are there unwritten rules they should abide by? How can youth be held accountable for bullying that they do in an environment where, really, anything goes. How can they be held accountable when they haven’t learned about the real-life laws that are being used to treat each individual case of cyberbullying? The ones who are very conscious of what “cyberbullying” is are often those who have been targets of or initiators of cyberbullying and have had to deal with law enforcement after the fact. Teens, if anything, don’t even call it “cyberbullying”. They are dealing with so many dramas in the digital world, that if such drama escalates to the point of cyberbullying – that’s when they’ll speak up about it – if ever. Online haters. Beef online. Online drama. Facebook fights. Status update drama. They’re not calling it “cyberbullying” – that’s a much more adult term.

9. Adults should teach teens about cyberbullying and its consequences.

Adults don’t always know everything that is going on in the online life of a child or a teen. They can make some global assumptions, but what needs to happen is an honest dialogue between adults and “digital natives”. Beyond that, first and foremost, adults who grew up without Internet truly need media education. Simply informing youth about punishments and possible consequences will not serve to curtail this culture of putting others down and one-upping every comment on every photo on Facebook. They will always find more covert and anonymous ways to do what they want to do and still ‘get away’ with it. One way that adults can address cyberbullying is by setting a good example (thus, not engaging in bullyng or cyberbullying others). Teens, the Digital Natives themselves, should be the ones taking charge and teaching each other about digital citizenship and respectful communication on digital media.

10. By developing a code of ethics for our schools, our school board or school district is taking responsibility for any cyberbullying going on.

Let’s go back to the Internet governance debate. Who is there who can regulate the Internet? Is it Google or Facebook’s job? Or is it the UN’s job? We can go on and on. If a school board or district decides to develop a code of ethics that they will enforce among their student body, then so be it. It shows that they are thinking about it and trying to do something about it, rather than simply saying it’s outside of their jurisdiction and beyond the schoolyard. Expecting children and youth to abide by these rules when the cyberbullying is actually going on (i.e. at home or after school) is another thing. There’s no clear demarkation of where the bullying begins and where it stops. Both the school and the home (and all other entities which are governmental, law and policy related, and corporate) need to take charge of the situation – by taking ownership and providing education, understanding, and regulation.

11. Policies. That’s what we need. We need to enforce website policies.

Policies are there to regulate and give suggestions as to how you should use the online environment or the mobile technology. How many people really abide by these policies? And who should be enforcing them? Sure, users can be denied the privilege of using a certain site and slapped on the wrist, but wouldn’t they just go to another site where these policies do not exist? In fact, there are websites that encourage abusing others and insulting others. Their whole purpose is to spread rumours about others (i.e. Juicy Campus). Developing policies is one thing – figuring out who is going to enforce them is another.

12. Only weak kids with low self-esteem can be affected by cyberbullying.

Not true. Anyone can be affected by cyberbullying. If someone has the will or the agenda to harm someone else or damage their reputation in any way, they have the means to do so. Yes, these things can be considered illegal offences, but, the fact that they are illegal does not create a safe haven for those affected. It can really interfere with someone’s daily life. It can interfere with their ability to find meaningful work. And reputation.com – although, in my opinion, a one-of-a-kind and very worthwhile venture – is not necessarily going to wash everything away and make it new.

13. Don’t blame technology. It’s not the fault of the ISP.

Ok, so we won’t blame technology. But is it too much to ask that they take responsibility in developing and funding educational programs, developing reasonable policies to hold users accountable, and in having links to law-enforcement bodies so that if serious cases arise they can be reported?

14. There’s a one-shot solution. All we have to do is figure out what it is.

Nope. There’s no one-shot solution. Having a one-shot workshop on cyberbullying is not going to ensure that it ‘never happens again’. Like I said, these are often ongoing digital dramas that are leaving school counsellors and administrators perplexed as they read through hundreds of pages of back and forth chat messages trying to figure out who’s truly to blame and what can be done. Who do they call? Other than the police, I can’t imagine they really can call anyone. Sometimes they call a meeting with the parents and the children involved and try to “sort things out” and you can imagine how this turns out. No one wants to think of their own child as the bully – and really who is to blame when this has been an ongoing series of backstabbing and fighting?

What is needed is the whole village to raise a child. Not only do we eventually need legislation, but education. This starts with pre-service teacher education, it goes on to administrators taking responsibility, it involves including cyber citizenship in the school curricula; and it takes a lot of education and know-how by clinical psychologists, doctors, lawyers, police, youth organizations, etc. It’s not an easy one-shot solution. At home, parents need to take responsibility and be more available to their children – also to know what is going on. As well, no tried-and-true 5-week program can truly serve to address the problem. It takes society as a whole, with government support (in terms of funding and mandate) to truly start to address it.

15. It will never ever affect me or my children, so why should I care?

It is only a matter of time before you receive a threatening email, an angry text, a subversive message at work. Your whole reputation may be sabotaged because someone decided that they were having a bad day and wanted to CC everyone in the office in an email due to a personal conflict they’ve had with you. And, really, if you don’t know what you would do in that scenario – how would you be able to tell your kids what to do? It’s not that easy!

16. Just unplug. Trust me, all of it will disappear.

This is the most ridiculous idea. Of course you can turn off your computer. Will that stop your child from being bullied? Of course you can take their cellphone away and teach your kids that staying off of technology will keep them safe. That doesn’t stop the other kids from making Facebook groups, taking pictures of, making websites about, and bothering your child at school and online.

17. Cyberbullying is not the issue. Bullying is.

Yes, bullying is a big issue. But cyberbullying and bullying are not the same thing and the same “prevention” tactics cannot be applied to both. The methods are different, the effect is different, the targets and those engaging in it are also different. For instance, if someone is being bullied at school and a teacher sees it, she or he can stop the bullying. The same cannot be said of cyberbullying.

Those are just some thoughts.

More myths to be debunked later!